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Standing on the outside looking in

In the shadows I watch

Wondering what I am lacking

To keep me so alone

Why nobody sees my tears





Standing on the outside looking in

Tears running down my face

Waiting for the simple feeling

Of being embraced

Hoping against hope that things will change





Standing on the outside looking in

Even within the family

The walls are so thick

Lies and manipulation is common place

From those I trusted, from those I loved

I take a stand and again I am alone.





Standing on the outside looking in

I still don’t know where I belong

Wandering along in the dark

I learn what people think of me and doubt it

My guarded heart won’t let me believe it





Standing on the outside looking in

I am elated, the barrier seems gone

Yet it is for a moment

I scream in frustration at the tease

And rail against the barrier as I watch and seethe





Standing on the outside looking in

My heart breaks at all I have done

This desire to belong, pushing out my voice of reason

Wishing I could break this silent spell

Is there nobody to deliver me from this hell?





Standing on the outside looking in

I resign myself to wait

Locked in this prison, may be deserved

Trust is a tricky friend, I await my fate

It can destroy or it can mend

I will serve my time to the end





-ME March 15, 2006